Friday, May 13, 2005

unexpected tidings

picture it...
approximately two weekends ago, walking through the pedestrian tunnel at central with Will (my boyfriend). the tunnel opening up to the night sky. Our destination is the hippo lounge, it sits across the street. Inside animal skins stuck to the wall. Casual attire to a casual event. An engagement in this case, for Heidi - good friend, ex room mate of several years, ex politcal co-conspirer. Good food, good vibes. Heidi playing hostess. Not a chance to get any more than a couple of words in before someone else arrived. The usual faces. The closeted friend, the crazy party girl, quiet one in the conner whos name i cant quite remember. The person i want to talk to but cant because of heidi's annoying brother... just an ordinary party, or so it seemed...

then matt and heidi drop the bomb. This is no engagement, they have gotten married! I stand a little agasp. Who would have guessed, then again who could i not have? At least it has put an end to the faux humour of the speeches. Mainly derived from their romantic first meeting in a gay bar. Thats right she met him in a... gayyy bar, gayyyy bar, gay bar (gitar strumming). The engagement took place only hours earlier @ parramatta park. Its quickly a flurry of emotion. Not all good. Bet they wish they stayed in a park as opposed to this zoo. Some people leave in anger, others realise how beautiful the moment is. I personally am a little deprived of emotion - i dont really see any change. But i guess that was their point, marriage is a thing to do, not a thing to be. A means to an end not an end in itself.

'im sorry this marriage is not valid, its not how its supposed to be'

I wonder what lurks beneath the word marriage that would make significant people to heidi walk out in anger. (Although i suspect that for the ones who did, it was just an excuse). Why is marriage such a fantastic thing? Maybe it is a fantasy. One of the few fantasies you can live. Marriage that does not fit the fantasy would become aboresent - disgusting. Think a deformed birth, a intollerable moment, People personally offended at noting more that cutlural assumptions.

Im sure Slavoj Zizek (or his wife who has a different twist on this theory) would site this as an instance where 'ones fantasy structure becomes threatened by the other who finds plesure in what the self deems unpleasurable, or undesirable'.

if people cannnot see that an understatement of their marriage is an amplification of their concious acknowledgement of mutal love, then they can not be as happy as i am for them, or see what it means to do that in a crazy world.

brought to you from the state library which has wireless internet connection - making study and social life easier!

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