melbourne is fun but cold.
i keep on ending up at the bear bar. go figure ;)
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
River
i really love Natalie Merchant - but it took me ages to realise that the song River is about River Phoenix, and his tragic death. The lyrics are supplied bellow. It interesting to thing about what mourning means for press vs people vs fellow rockers. I loved him in idaho
to sleepy boys, death, stars & dreams. i love you baby, i love you so much. i love you all. so much. and the dreams. and the stars. and the sleep.
Young and strong Hollywood son
In the early morning light
This star fell down
On Sunset Boulevard
Young and strong beautiful one
We embraced so close
Is gone
Was torn away
Let the youth of America mourn
Include him in their prayers
Let his image linger on
Repeat it everywhere
With candles, with flowers
He was one of ours
One of ours
Why don't you let him be?
He's gone
We know
Give his mother and his father peace
Your vulture's candor
Your casual slander
You murder his memory
He's gone
We know
It's nothing but a tragedy
Lay to rest your soul and body
Lay beside your name
Lay to rest your rage
Your hunger and amazing grace
With candles, with flowers
You were one of ours
One of ours
I saw cameras expose your life
I heard rumors explode with lies
I saw children in tears
Cry and crowd around the sight
Of where you had collapsed that day
Where your last breath and word
Had been sighed
Where your heart had burst
Where you had died
I saw how they were lost in grieving
All half believing you were gone
The loss and pain of it
Crime and shame of it
You were gone
It was such a nightmare raving,
"How could we save him from himself?"
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Sunday, October 08, 2006
bad wolf
There is a little tear in my eye as the entire second season of doctor who passed with out me even knowing it was on. (i knew it was happening, but i didnt realise it was happening NOW) *sigh* just my luck hehehe. Well i guess its for the best i just finished watching the first season, so now i can get the order all right.
This is a picture of me dancing at bad dog party - not the best expression but i like it none the less. It was my first bad dog & im committed to going to many more.
:D
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Dematerialise!
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle is the creed of old school environmentalism.
The primary term is Reduce. Limit intake, proportion accordingly. Negotiate the cycles of material production. Avoid unecassary waste. The two other terms echo the first, but a degree of conviction is lost in each turn. The second term, Reuse, mearly reminds us that to keep the commodity in circulation is to elapse the time before its eventual termination. Keep it usefull means keeping it from becoming part of the problem. From becoming waste, an expenditure. And as is well known - all expenditures demand a balanced injection. Something must be put back into the system to take its functional place. The third term, most fathest removed, states that what has been used can be remade. Reduce the exploitation of the environment, by exploiting the waste of our society instead.
The second & more so third term of these co-ordinates of conservation tend to stem on a trajectory outward from point 1 (reduce). Both point 2 (reuse) and point 3 (recycle) require the increased manifestation & circulation of materials. Incremental increases from a starting point (1). These three points can be imagined to sit on a line constructed from this logic. If we work backwards from 3 through 2 & then 1 we find a trajectory, shooting back to a 0. This is the zero point of conservationism. Point zero is the point of dematerialisation.
Dematerialise! Matter into Energy. Form is lost. Only radiation abounds... in all directions. It seems that dematerialising is the radical origin of these logics of conservation. Dematerialise is eternal. Energy has no mass, no decay, no death.
To dematerialise is to restructure society so as to disappear material objects. To end the tyranny of the mass commodity. It is a simple & mundaine thing. Deny the material world commodity status. In capitalism it is a laundry mat. Wash your clothes. What is bought is not a commodity - is is a service. In socialism it is the bus. Cars evaporate & communal needs transpire. In anarchism it would bee the re-establishment of the Commons, to this day still too uncertian to offer a description.
The primary term is Reduce. Limit intake, proportion accordingly. Negotiate the cycles of material production. Avoid unecassary waste. The two other terms echo the first, but a degree of conviction is lost in each turn. The second term, Reuse, mearly reminds us that to keep the commodity in circulation is to elapse the time before its eventual termination. Keep it usefull means keeping it from becoming part of the problem. From becoming waste, an expenditure. And as is well known - all expenditures demand a balanced injection. Something must be put back into the system to take its functional place. The third term, most fathest removed, states that what has been used can be remade. Reduce the exploitation of the environment, by exploiting the waste of our society instead.
The second & more so third term of these co-ordinates of conservation tend to stem on a trajectory outward from point 1 (reduce). Both point 2 (reuse) and point 3 (recycle) require the increased manifestation & circulation of materials. Incremental increases from a starting point (1). These three points can be imagined to sit on a line constructed from this logic. If we work backwards from 3 through 2 & then 1 we find a trajectory, shooting back to a 0. This is the zero point of conservationism. Point zero is the point of dematerialisation.
Dematerialise! Matter into Energy. Form is lost. Only radiation abounds... in all directions. It seems that dematerialising is the radical origin of these logics of conservation. Dematerialise is eternal. Energy has no mass, no decay, no death.
To dematerialise is to restructure society so as to disappear material objects. To end the tyranny of the mass commodity. It is a simple & mundaine thing. Deny the material world commodity status. In capitalism it is a laundry mat. Wash your clothes. What is bought is not a commodity - is is a service. In socialism it is the bus. Cars evaporate & communal needs transpire. In anarchism it would bee the re-establishment of the Commons, to this day still too uncertian to offer a description.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Jazz Sushi
We make our way to that little jazz sushi place. You'd know the one, on a not so distant corner deposited in the middle of surry hills.
"You know i love this place, i like to come here once a month" States Ms H. She clarifies her point "Just often enough not to miss it & just often enough not to go broke. You know, special occasions - pay day"
We have both finished work. So tired. A little brain dead. Welfare and Health are not really mental or physical professions so much as emotional professions. Dont matter what the problem is, youir care is demanded. Your compassion is depleted. Somewhere in our minds we decide a sober talk is appropriate for such moments. Sober moments themselves go best with a glass or red.
Agadashi Tofu, Sashimi Salad. Salt & Peper Crab, Camembert Tempura. And then dessert. Its rich & flavoursome meal. Our bellies grumble with satisfaction. the lopic strays to pets.
"You know i really do like animals. I've just seen one too many people treat animals baddly. One too many people cling to them too closely. One too many bills to pay" I pause "And yeah, i do kinda want one..." Ms H giggles.
We listen to our requested song being played before we leave for home. "You know this is a great place," I say, "for special events".
"Yeah" Replies Ms H, "Romantic occassions & Breakups"
"with a bottle of sake i hope"
we walk away.
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
"You know i love this place, i like to come here once a month" States Ms H. She clarifies her point "Just often enough not to miss it & just often enough not to go broke. You know, special occasions - pay day"
We have both finished work. So tired. A little brain dead. Welfare and Health are not really mental or physical professions so much as emotional professions. Dont matter what the problem is, youir care is demanded. Your compassion is depleted. Somewhere in our minds we decide a sober talk is appropriate for such moments. Sober moments themselves go best with a glass or red.
Agadashi Tofu, Sashimi Salad. Salt & Peper Crab, Camembert Tempura. And then dessert. Its rich & flavoursome meal. Our bellies grumble with satisfaction. the lopic strays to pets.
"You know i really do like animals. I've just seen one too many people treat animals baddly. One too many people cling to them too closely. One too many bills to pay" I pause "And yeah, i do kinda want one..." Ms H giggles.
We listen to our requested song being played before we leave for home. "You know this is a great place," I say, "for special events".
"Yeah" Replies Ms H, "Romantic occassions & Breakups"
"with a bottle of sake i hope"
we walk away.
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me
Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you
Saturday, September 23, 2006
try to smoke alone
so im single again..
SOMETIMES ALL THE MOMENTS
THAT WE SAVOURED FOR THE LAST
GET CRUSHED BETWEEN THE GOOD AND BAD
FROM PRESSURES WE HAVE HAD
BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T CONCEIVE THE DAY
WHEN FEELINGS RUN TOO HIGH
TO WORK OUT ALL THE STALE TERRAIN
EMOTIONS TRY TO HIDE, WHEN I TRY
LATELY I CAN'T SEEM TO COLOUR WHAT WE'VE LOST
IT ALL SEEMS LIKE BAD MEANS
WHEN LOVERS TURN FROM LUST
THEN I TRY, TRY TO SMOKE ALONE
THESE SHATTERED TIES WITH NO COMPROMISE
FALL THROUGH THIS FRAGILE HELL
THE DRINKS STAY SIPPED 'COS WE'VE LOST OUR GRIP
TOO EXHAUSTED TO REBEL
lately, skunk anansie
SOMETIMES ALL THE MOMENTS
THAT WE SAVOURED FOR THE LAST
GET CRUSHED BETWEEN THE GOOD AND BAD
FROM PRESSURES WE HAVE HAD
BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T CONCEIVE THE DAY
WHEN FEELINGS RUN TOO HIGH
TO WORK OUT ALL THE STALE TERRAIN
EMOTIONS TRY TO HIDE, WHEN I TRY
LATELY I CAN'T SEEM TO COLOUR WHAT WE'VE LOST
IT ALL SEEMS LIKE BAD MEANS
WHEN LOVERS TURN FROM LUST
THEN I TRY, TRY TO SMOKE ALONE
THESE SHATTERED TIES WITH NO COMPROMISE
FALL THROUGH THIS FRAGILE HELL
THE DRINKS STAY SIPPED 'COS WE'VE LOST OUR GRIP
TOO EXHAUSTED TO REBEL
lately, skunk anansie
fair go
I flick through the paper to see whats in the news. The death of a croc hunter makes the front page. I homosexual scandal in NZ is also given a mention. A full page is devoted to a sale at Myer. In other lesser news a military coup has occured in thai land.
There is an arguement over getting newbies to the country agree to australian values - such as having a 'fair go'. They dont really explain what it means, what having a 'fair go' entails. I suspect because if they did they might find that the idea's of potentail & equality, of giving people a chance & equal footing is not so inately Australian. Nationalism is only ever surface.
There is no depth.
Depth is the enemy of the cultural artifact. If packaging increases sales of commodities by anywhere as much as 300% we can safely say people perfer to buy packaging over commodity. Nationalism is a commodity.
If we ask people to buy into the idea of a 'fair go', were not really asking them to buy into the concepts behind it. Were just demanding that they say it our [sic] way.
There is an arguement over getting newbies to the country agree to australian values - such as having a 'fair go'. They dont really explain what it means, what having a 'fair go' entails. I suspect because if they did they might find that the idea's of potentail & equality, of giving people a chance & equal footing is not so inately Australian. Nationalism is only ever surface.
There is no depth.
Depth is the enemy of the cultural artifact. If packaging increases sales of commodities by anywhere as much as 300% we can safely say people perfer to buy packaging over commodity. Nationalism is a commodity.
If we ask people to buy into the idea of a 'fair go', were not really asking them to buy into the concepts behind it. Were just demanding that they say it our [sic] way.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
techno geek
I know that i really shouldnt get all excited, & its probably very telling that i do, but yeah new technology just pushes my buttons.
Friday, September 08, 2006
j.s.
its as if it was all a big jig saw puzzle. Time stopped & this world pulled apart. The pieces scattered onto the floor. Its my job to put it back together. One by one i pick them up. One by one i make things whole. Each time i get a little closser to that primal scene. One & one & one. I'm close to complete. Breath bites & heart skips. One piece is missing. A small gap on the board. A blank in this world. A piece is missing. The one that reveals it all. The piece that depicts your mind.
Im denied satisfaction. There is no completion. I'm left un-content. Dare i say - I have no piece of mind. You hide the jig in your hand. You can be so cruel sometimes.
I know what the piece should look like, its colours, its contours. Its tale of dark betrayals, & deep passions. A tilted face & soft smile. Hell, i can even turn over the box to see a blur of what that piece should look like. But its a different thing to hold the piece. Different completely.
'oh how cruel - to make a girl cry.'
Im denied satisfaction. There is no completion. I'm left un-content. Dare i say - I have no piece of mind. You hide the jig in your hand. You can be so cruel sometimes.
I know what the piece should look like, its colours, its contours. Its tale of dark betrayals, & deep passions. A tilted face & soft smile. Hell, i can even turn over the box to see a blur of what that piece should look like. But its a different thing to hold the piece. Different completely.
'oh how cruel - to make a girl cry.'
Sunday, September 03, 2006
indy media
its been a while since ive checked out indy-media, ut it seems somewhere down the line they got a faced lift. The site is alot more user friendly now :) & still the best source for factual information. Best of all you can make the 'news' yourself!!
on a tangent...
....it occurs to me that if the role of the journalist is to report facts - to log an account - to submit a journal entry, then who or what is a journalist in the age of the internet? where investigations are not nessacarily as time consuming or resource exhausting. Where the world is progressively dematerialising itself?
Maybe the hyperlink is the essence of journalism today - delivering you the facts in an instant. Perhaps the degree & diversity as well as destination of those links is what should be the judge of the journalistic integrity of our society... mmm, just maybe
on a tangent...
....it occurs to me that if the role of the journalist is to report facts - to log an account - to submit a journal entry, then who or what is a journalist in the age of the internet? where investigations are not nessacarily as time consuming or resource exhausting. Where the world is progressively dematerialising itself?
Maybe the hyperlink is the essence of journalism today - delivering you the facts in an instant. Perhaps the degree & diversity as well as destination of those links is what should be the judge of the journalistic integrity of our society... mmm, just maybe
Friday, September 01, 2006
bikes & boys
a bit of an update post:
i have a brand new bike. Its yellow. I think i love it, its kinda just what i wanted. Cute, practical,environmentally friendly, it wasnt too expensive, nor was it cheap. Trigger gears & disc breaks. very modern. Best of all - its french! (remind me to post on 'cyclophilia' in future).
the bike i got yesterday. a little before i got the bike i got me self a man. So fer the rascals i see out & about - expect to meet him soon. Hes got a great smile, & many other good qualities im discovering. Hes read all of my blog entries already (which is adorable & yet un-nerving at the same time) so i guess he'll be reading this one too. Hi babe *pokes out tounge* (a tounge wave?!) Best of all - hes a slav! (Well a serb to be exact, & im croatian *shock, horror* - but is ok, we both follow the dictum 'make love, not war')
ciao bello babe
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
sorry for the delay
argh... sorry for the delay in posting - blogger now has a beta version that is linked to gmail/google, & for some reason it kept on signing me into the wrong account...
... but im here now. If i had been here sooner i would have posted on:
gay stuff, the odd boring update on life, clubbing excapades, eye candy at the gym, the importance of living an earnest life, my new facination with utube, oh - not to mention the hype around spider man 3, the horrors of www.allbadboys.com having failed to update recently, the evils of mass-mediated-politico-power, wolves, a recipie for making brownies, not to mention instructions for overthrowing the capitalist state, a continued appreciation for the sleepy jackson, a note on the presses insane stance on terrorism, existential coments on the nature of sudoku, & yeah other funky stuff
all written while drinking my dry white in one hand, typing with the other, blind to the spelling mistakes but open to the idea that words mean something more than a mere shuffled mimicary of the dictonary. Words may be words, but they may just also mean something too.
... but im here now. If i had been here sooner i would have posted on:
gay stuff, the odd boring update on life, clubbing excapades, eye candy at the gym, the importance of living an earnest life, my new facination with utube, oh - not to mention the hype around spider man 3, the horrors of www.allbadboys.com having failed to update recently, the evils of mass-mediated-politico-power, wolves, a recipie for making brownies, not to mention instructions for overthrowing the capitalist state, a continued appreciation for the sleepy jackson, a note on the presses insane stance on terrorism, existential coments on the nature of sudoku, & yeah other funky stuff
all written while drinking my dry white in one hand, typing with the other, blind to the spelling mistakes but open to the idea that words mean something more than a mere shuffled mimicary of the dictonary. Words may be words, but they may just also mean something too.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
twitch
im in newcastle. i remind myself that im up here for business. A community housing confernece... but i cant seem to keep my mind on work. Im a anxious. Distraction isnt working. My computer is connected up wirelessly in the confines of a pub. The beer that i sip also offers no release.
Its as if ive forgotten something. im so desparate to remember. its as if i need something, but everything should be here. its not home sickness. i have only been here for a day...
maybe its existential - anxiety of the present self.. maybe psychoanalytical - anxiety of the impinging past. perhaps its not clinical. perhaps its justified. water. petrol. life & death. intollerable work & a dead culture that we all call our own.
i lament on the matter in absence of a cure. it is an end in itself.
Its as if ive forgotten something. im so desparate to remember. its as if i need something, but everything should be here. its not home sickness. i have only been here for a day...
maybe its existential - anxiety of the present self.. maybe psychoanalytical - anxiety of the impinging past. perhaps its not clinical. perhaps its justified. water. petrol. life & death. intollerable work & a dead culture that we all call our own.
i lament on the matter in absence of a cure. it is an end in itself.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
warming up :)
so kooky is re-opening this friday. me thinks this clubbing season will have an early start, more prolonged rather than immediately intense.
Oh and as i discovered on the maquarie uni website:
Climate
The Australian climate ranges from tropical to temperate and Sydney has a temperate climate. The wettest months are March to May; the coldest month is July and the hottest months are January and February. The average rainfall is 1,200 millimetres per year. Average humidity is 62 per cent.
Summer (Dec-Feb) Max 28.5 Celsius Min 18.2 Celsius
Autumn (Mar-May) Max 22 Celsius Min 14.5 Celsius
Winter (Jun- Aug) Max 16.8 Celsius Min 8.6 Celsius
Spring (Sep- Nov) Max 21.7 Celsius Min 13.3 Celsius
Sydney has a mild climate that encourages Sydneysiders to enjoy many outdoor activities.
we are officially past the coldest month. YaY!!
Oh and as i discovered on the maquarie uni website:
Climate
The Australian climate ranges from tropical to temperate and Sydney has a temperate climate. The wettest months are March to May; the coldest month is July and the hottest months are January and February. The average rainfall is 1,200 millimetres per year. Average humidity is 62 per cent.
Summer (Dec-Feb) Max 28.5 Celsius Min 18.2 Celsius
Autumn (Mar-May) Max 22 Celsius Min 14.5 Celsius
Winter (Jun- Aug) Max 16.8 Celsius Min 8.6 Celsius
Spring (Sep- Nov) Max 21.7 Celsius Min 13.3 Celsius
Sydney has a mild climate that encourages Sydneysiders to enjoy many outdoor activities.
we are officially past the coldest month. YaY!!
Monday, July 31, 2006
travelling the world
i'm bitting my lip. i fills the time while i figure out what words to say. i look at him. he's so cute, that cute little nose, beautiful eyes, the hint of a few frekles... I just want say the right thing, not that there is a 'right' thing to say.
Serbian huh? Gez my parents would be furious *smirks*. I can see that you love to smile as much as i do. cute teeth, kissable lips. Though i must admit he talks alot - almost as much as i do. Darn competition, lol. Yeah... sooo, you're like... um... built?... grrrowl. makes me feel so meek. A strong spirit, analytical, thoughtfull, he speaks his heart. he excites mine.
i'm smiling babe, this night, this moment... its fantastic.
Serbian huh? Gez my parents would be furious *smirks*. I can see that you love to smile as much as i do. cute teeth, kissable lips. Though i must admit he talks alot - almost as much as i do. Darn competition, lol. Yeah... sooo, you're like... um... built?... grrrowl. makes me feel so meek. A strong spirit, analytical, thoughtfull, he speaks his heart. he excites mine.
i'm smiling babe, this night, this moment... its fantastic.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
puppy dog's tails?
Arms arised. feet apart. bend my knees. My hands fall as i turn left. My face goes red. I've turned the wrong way. I turn the right way. as they say 'life's full of wrong turns...' i'm tempted to add that these turns are '...coupled with many an embarasing moments'.
Going to dance class is a frustrating thing. It really is starting from scratch. You learn set styles, to specific beats. Your feet & hands play different games as the music referee's. Dont matter what you could do before. Now there is only this. The trick is not so much learning to dance. It is learning to be taught. Learn the dicipline.
I remember a connection between mr foucault and dicipline. he showed how dicipline as the practice of correction, as the body of knowledge, and as the conditioning of the body all came together. I appreciate his words as i step, shuffle, march. body, knowledge, power. I soilder on.
I enjoy it. I like dancing with the additional classes of yoga and of course the gym. its a challenge. the good dancers inspire me. a shyness brought on from unfamiliarity is a hinderance slowly lifting. Gary mentions that 'its most difficult for you beacause you're not used to being taught, to restrictions. Your freestyle, this isn't' He places the emphasis on free. 'sometimes though you gotta take 2 steps back to go 3 forward'....
...and step 1, 2, 3
I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry
What could I do
My baby's love had gone
And left my baby blue
Nobody knew
What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Or puppy dogs' tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free
I saw my baby, trying hard as babe could try
What could I do
My baby's fun had gone
And left my baby blue
Nobody knew
What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Or puppy dog's tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Going to dance class is a frustrating thing. It really is starting from scratch. You learn set styles, to specific beats. Your feet & hands play different games as the music referee's. Dont matter what you could do before. Now there is only this. The trick is not so much learning to dance. It is learning to be taught. Learn the dicipline.
I remember a connection between mr foucault and dicipline. he showed how dicipline as the practice of correction, as the body of knowledge, and as the conditioning of the body all came together. I appreciate his words as i step, shuffle, march. body, knowledge, power. I soilder on.
I enjoy it. I like dancing with the additional classes of yoga and of course the gym. its a challenge. the good dancers inspire me. a shyness brought on from unfamiliarity is a hinderance slowly lifting. Gary mentions that 'its most difficult for you beacause you're not used to being taught, to restrictions. Your freestyle, this isn't' He places the emphasis on free. 'sometimes though you gotta take 2 steps back to go 3 forward'....
...and step 1, 2, 3
I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry
What could I do
My baby's love had gone
And left my baby blue
Nobody knew
What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Or puppy dogs' tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free
I saw my baby, trying hard as babe could try
What could I do
My baby's fun had gone
And left my baby blue
Nobody knew
What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Or puppy dog's tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Monday, July 24, 2006
what gay am i?
i think i answered in the positive too often...
You scored as The all-round cute gay guy. YOu are a cute guy who many would die to be with..........lucky!!
What type of Gay are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com |
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