vice versa

I arrived at the syndey airport last night with a strange feeling tickling my gut. It was something between relief and sadness. I was very glad to be home, to be back to my friends & fun nights out, to bus trips up to the rocks & bike rides all over town. But at the same time i felt a pang of sorrow. And no - it wasnt about leaving melbourne.

Lets get things straight. I like melbourne. I think of it as a sister city. Sure i bitch when im down there - i constantly compare it to syndey & pick them appart. But thats whats so special about it. The two cities are in many ways alike. As Kath would say "same... but different". Melbournian people come to sydney and bitch, we all have out little complexes about "the scene" and we all work essentially banal jobs - and escape onto the net, cafe's & bars or sydney to re-establish some semblance of meaning. My sorrow then was not from missing melbourne. Melbourne is not gone, its here in syndney in some way, and vice versa.

So then why was i sorrowfull? Melbourne left me with more questions than answers. Melbourne offered neither the restful fatigue of a hectic week, nor did it offer the rejuvinating effects of rest. It seemed that it wasnt really a holiday that occassioned my stay. It was a unconcious need to see things differently. A minor flicker in perspective.

Close the left eye & see the world - you think you know it? Now close the right & open the left. The world is shifted. Things disapear & others appear. Angles change, shadow & light plays differently. Suttle shifts can be prosperous things.

So many questions hinge around life & love. What to do... what can i do... when & where. how? The sorrow quickly passed as i went to sleep. The answers i'd find at a latter date.