camille jones - the creeps

not much

not had much time to blog lately... too busy with dance and work and study and bears and friends.... god damn friends hehehehe. unfortunately im not sure what this means... i think i need to re-evaluate the purpose of this blog.

anyways the desire to write is still there... of late i have taken to putting unusual comments on my status.

im proud of the recent one reads puppet 'is but a broken heart with a vodka shot' not that my heart is broken or anything... i just liked how it sat on my tounge...

Talking Heads - 02.Heaven

An omen for oxford st

with the rise in rental prices, gentrification, venue closure, incoming straights, violence, is this yet another sign is this another sign of the impending doom for the surry hills community... It wasnt so long i had a chat with a friend about the quickly build & poorly constructed apartments around the place...



Estract from Building Collapse threat
from the SMH Website
Edmund Tadros
November 28, 2007 - 7:38AM
"
The owners of Indian Chilli restaurant noticed cracks in their wall early this morning and alerted emergency services, a police spokesman said.

It is understood construction work was underway at midnight when workers heard a cracking noise. A section of the restaurant building at the rear collapsed.

The restaurant is leaning towards the building site next door of the new Surry Hills Community Centre, which is under construction and has had its foundations laid.

About a dozen shops next to the restaurant will be closed until a structural assessment is completed.
"

Jung had been unable to help Joyce's daughter Lucia, who Joyce claimed was a girl "yung and easily freudened."

Pan

pan is at work within sleep. his forge of dreams meld the passions to the actions. such furious work causes sweat to break. he stands with a sweet wet face with eyes so deep. works with strong hands as the threat of morning comes to swift. and with works half done i awake. interrupted dreams. severed desires. the world without pan bares such a harsh reality.

all good things

at page 263 of Naomi Klein's "the Shock Doctorine" i cant help but feeling bewildered at the depth and scope of the book. its a bit of an emotional read (as is stories of capitalist exploits usually are) but it really is an a book-for-the-times, as they say.

January 1788
A flag is placed. We read that a terra nulluis is declared by colonial powers to now be called Australia.

July 1969
We watch our screen to see a flag placed by a sole astronaut. The frigid moon has now the footprints of the western capitalist complex.

November 1989
The screen comes to life as the MTV flag is placed into the ruble of the fallen Berlin wall.

Upon the reception of Stravinsky's musical composition (and ballet performance)'Rite of spring' he was run out of the town by the enraged citizens of Paris.

i get a call from my sister. tonight my brother has taken a turn for the worse. im so numb inside.

The Shock Doctrine

I bought the book by Naomi today and after 20 pages into it i'd say its a must read

a lot is on

i wont be blogging as regularly in the coming months. Im a little over loaded. At the moment i have made the following commitments:

a 4 day a week job
dance training equating to 2 hrs/5 days per wk
psych registration (god only knows what this means)

and then for some reason i decided to do some....
volunteering with vibewire
voulenteering with AOCN
organise a cubs event.

I may have to drop something or push somethings together - this is a bit much!

i am currently obsessed by the image of a single red line drawn across the horizon of a plain white page

things i find attractive

do you ever wonder why it is that we find particular things attractive? i for instance have a particular affliction for cute noses. i never did quite understand it myself, i just know that i like it. there are other things too. the broad of the back, a light flickering of freckles, nice legs, even an intense expression.

i had a dream last night

I had this dream last night where my mum had come back from the hospital and she was ok. She was younger, and i was younger - like a scene from out past. For that moment in the dream i got a chance to hug her again and tell her that i loved her and that i missed her and that i didn't want her to go again. then i woke up at about 3am.

Freud said dreams were wish fulfillments. And perhaps i wanted my wish to be fulfilled. I knew it was a dream when i woke but i toyed with the idea for a bit, as if it really could happen. Could... Could Not... Would Not... I toyed with the idea but i had no hope for it eventuating. I laid there and just cried for a bit... then drifted back to sleep.

close to you

Me and Steve out and about :)

Why do birds suddenly appear,
every time you are near?

Just like me,they long to be
close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky,every time you walk by?
Just like me,they long to be close to you.

On the day that you were born, the angels got together and decided to
create a dream come true.
So, they sprinkled moon dust in your hair, with gold and starlight
in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town follow you all around;
Just like me, they long to be close to you.

new job

working at my new job seems to be going well... so so i think hehehe

i always get a little paranoid when i start a new place. Will i be capable? Will i come across well? Or with the think they hired a nut case? Luckily at this job i seem to be less anxious than i usually get. Is puppet becoming the epithet for a well adjusted person with anxieties under control - who knows?!

Its fun working here at carers NSW. Its in the city so all is near. Its 4 days a week - so i have more free time. Its a good career choice considering its going to help me with getting my registration as a pscyhologist. Yay :)

dorothy's dance camp

yay! i got onto the same same website twice!! here i am at Dorothy's Dance Camp. I was soo sweaty that my stamp rubbed off twice!!

postscript

Thanks for those who kept up with the story im happy to have finished it. Im not quite sure if ive put enough in the ending to make it mean what I intend it to mean - but thats cool. On a reproduction into zine form i'll be sure to clean it up.

A friend asked me if i was Jonas. Well the answer is yes i am Jonas and no im not. I identify strongly with Jonas. Much of his experiences relate to mine. Positive and negative. But then again the other characters draw from me too. I am like Sebastian and Toby too, in ways. All that happened in the story was 'true' in one way or another. Positions were inverted, meanings differed but still the essence of the event was never corrupted. So even though im not quite Jonas, Jonas is still a poetic (re?)interpretation of my life.

Statement of practice
the story was based on a original two page draft that did not have an end. The task was to complete the work via a blog format. Each entry was written in one or two seating's maximum. After entries i would avoid reading over more than once so as to avoid excessive rewriting. This was to make sure i finished it but lead to lots of grammatical errors. Sorry!!

Each entry required a deal of self containment so as to provide entry consistency. I wanted to be true to Ugresics theory/philosophy that a good story teller is a seamstress by making sure that i stuck to the particular motifs within the earlier entries and sought some sort of symbolic resolve at the end. Only the metaphor/motif of the compass was introduced at the end to symbolise (hopefully) the new/redetermining. The idea was to follow Jonas & to delve into a more internal landscape of thoughts and emotions rather than direct conversations actions or events. I guess this was an existentialist exercise at its very core.

Resolve
its been a long time since i last wrote 'fiction'. Ive enjoyed it - though i dont know if i'll do it any time soon again. And if i do i dont think it will be in blog format - i fear it may have confused and isolated readers. But all in all:
Writing this story has made me a better person.